It used to be so easy to trust in God. When I was a child I had a supportive family, plenty of food, and a beautiful home. As I grew into a woman, I thought that anything was attainable as long as I worked hard. I got into the school I wanted to go to, and eventually attained my dream of being a mother, wife and doctor. God was a provider; as long as I did my part, good fortune would follow.
However, it is not so easy. Although I had seen plenty of tragedy during my residency, it was never personal. It seemed to happen to other people, not me. I was impressed by a dying person's faith in God, but did not think more of it than that.
The untimely deaths of my father and sister-in-law challenged my beliefs and my faith. How can I trust a God who would take a young woman just starting her life, full of potential? How would my children deal with these losses without losing their own faith and self assurance? It was an overwhelming and isolating time.
However, life did go on. We all found the strength to move on with our lives. We resumed the natural rhythm of life, and learned to talk of our lost loved ones with humor and gratitude. I came to the conclusion that nothing is promised us. We do the best we can with what God provides us --good and bad. We need to trust that in the end we will be cared for and loved, and that life will go on.
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