June Blair: The Cross above Me

I remember when I was very young, my parents dressing up all five of us kids on Sundays to go to the Calvary Church. Reverend Zimmerman was the pastor then. All I remember about him was that he seemed very big and lived in the house next door to the church. Going to church was part of the family weekly routine, but I didn’t realize back then the meaning of all that was going on.

I remember when Reverend Swenson came to Calvary. I was older and he seemed more like a regular person to me than the ominous figure Reverend Zimmerman had been. My brothers and I went to Sunday school and we were all confirmed at Calvary. We attended fairly regularly for some time, but I still didn’t realize the meaning of all that was going on.

After a few years, my family became involved in Drum and Bugle Corps and our weekends were taken up by practices and competitions. Church didn’t seem so important any more. I knew that my faith and belief in God was strong, but the church seemed like nothing more than a building to me.

Several more years went by and I would go to services at Calvary periodically but still, never grasped the meaning of all that was going on. I was married in the Calvary Church and my first child was baptized there. Every now and then, I would feel the need to go to church but I never could explain why. I knew that every time I walked in to the church, the big huge cross hanging high above the altar would strike me as something bigger than I could understand or explain.

Then one day, life threw me and my family a curve. I blamed God for disrupting my comfortable life and wondered what we had done to deserve it. After months of being angry with God, I began feeling so alone and frightened. I didn’t know why but, I knew that I had to go back to Calvary. The first day I went back, as I was sitting in the pew waiting for the service to begin, I became overwhelmed with emotion. I realized that I had never felt so safe in my life as I did right then. Over the course of the next several months, I began to realize the meaning of all that was going on in the church. I began to understand that this was all part of God’s plan for me and my family and that the church was as much a part of who I am as my name is. I know now that all those trials and tribulations were meant to bring me back to where I belong; with God at Calvary Church.

Now every time I walk into the church and see that big huge cross hanging high above the altar, I swear I hear God say, “Welcome home.”