The spiritual foundation and childlike faith I was given as a child are what give me the foundation to live my life. If only as an adult it were so easy to still hang on to this faith and trust. As I’ve grown older I find the corners of my mind contain many doubts and questions. My faith greatly varies in its degrees of strength and weakness. It is at times like these that I realize the childlike faith I felt as a child makes me more vulnerable and needy as an adult. My mind wants to be in control. Yet thankfully, God always seems to creep in and take over.
During the summers we spend in Wolfeboro , N.H. at our camp built by my grandfather in 1938, I find I am often restored to that feeling of childlike faith. Walking in the woods early in May and coming upon numerous ladyslippers (last year 80+)—some still white and maturing and others fully pink and mature. (I used to tell our sons when they were young that unexpected moments like these were “Thank you God" moments.) So also is the feeling I get when I walk down to the lake in early morning and the fog is just lifting off its surface. Sunlight is just creeping over the mountains across the lake and the first words that come to me always are, “I will lift up mine eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help? My help is in the name of the Lord who hath made heaven and earth.” It is so simple to feel God’s presence there. (Thank you God.)
Last June as I was standing in the early morning on our dock (dressed in old jeans and a sweatshirt), my 38 year old son ( dressed in old jeans and a t-shirt) came quietly up behind me and said, “Mum, aren’t you going to church?” (It was 7:50 then, so I guess I hadn’t planned on going.) My reply was “Well, we usually go at 8. “ He replied, “Come on, I’ll go with you. ” (Thank you God.) And off we went dressed as we were. Of course we were late, but somehow I don’t think God really cared.
And probably the most precious time I feel God’s presence is the time I spend with our two grandsons—5 and 15 months. Whether we’re in Wolfeboro or home in Georgetown, their innocence and trust brings me back to that time of life. Their comical antics and responses, their vulnerability and sweetness do make ME a child again. (Thank you God.) In all these ways God reveals his presence to me and my doubts and questions have vanished! I indeed DO trust God!
The two most restorative prayers I pray every evening are in the 1928 Book of Common Prayer:
O Most loving Father, who willest us to give thanks for all things, to dread nothing but the loss of thee, and to cast all our care on thee, who carest for us; Preserve us from faithless fears and worldy anxieties, and grant that no clouds of this mortal life may hide from us the light of that love which is immortal and which thou hast manifested unto us in the Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen (For Trustfulness….pg. 596)
Almighty God, we entrust all who are dear to us to thy never-failing care and love, for this life and the life to come; knowing that thou art doing for them better things than we can desire or pray for; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen (For Those We Love….pg.597)
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